It's called Fan.
They hand me a flag and a shirt and a ticket.
They tell me to cheer like mad.
But not too much.
Not enough to cause a fuss.
I tell them not to worry, I’m a professional.
I was on this soap once, I tell them, and I was pretty good.
They tell me to hold the shirt up to my chest. It’s too small.
They try and find me a larger one.
Remember, they say, you’ll be out there representing our country.
I can’t say anything negative.